A great ride ahead...do I look scared???

Special places

I sat on my screen porch last night and caught up on my magazine reading...yes I still had bookwork to do, could fold some laundry, and put some laundry away!!! BUT...I chose to relax. Not a choice I make very often or very easily. I like to stay busy. I like to be on the move. I can't go to the movies very often...that is way too long to be sitting doing nothing in my opinion. I've been accused of keeping this constant motion so I don't have to think. THAT is so NOT true. I am always thinking. I wish I could stop...but I am ALWAYS thinking. Too much. Ideas, thoughts, to do lists, excerpts from books, numbers, images...it's a tornado in my brain at all times. So sitting and just being takes sooo much effort it almost isn't worth the extreme labor it takes. BUT...I have some special places that I find I can stop and settle in the moment for nanosecond or two. My screen porch is one of those places. Evening is best since there are fans to move the air and I purchased an outdoor lamp. I have some lumpy chairs that squeak a little when I move and a coffee table to put my feet up on. Feet up is a signal to my body to relax I guess. I have tons of pictures I have taken of me at my special places...and my feet are what I take the picture of. There is a picture of my feet next to Shannons in San Luis Obispo, Megs feet with mine at the Nutcracker Ballet, My painted toes with my friend Hollys at the SF Garden show...and some of just my happy feet in one of my favorite special places-The deck at Lake Almanor!!!! I have this one corner of the deck where I position my chair just so, I can put my coffee cup right next to me (or Wine at night). Between my toes I can see the peninsula. In the early mornings there is fog that swirls at that point. I give my toes a visual massage with the fog swirls curling in the background. I can sit there undiscovered for hours if I get up early enough. I start with a blanket wrapped around me. Then I shed the layers. By the time everyone else starts to stir I am down to my jammies sunning my toes in the sun. That place for me is where I relax and am actually in the moment for a brief, brief time...

The feeling

Well...I am sure day 3 passed...so sorry...but hello...I am a business owner these days...entrepeuner as they call me...but here is my number three blog, my 3rd blog, etc. As I mentioned, I really knew how my new bike was going to make me feel(but I envisioned pure joy) , and as usual, I felt guilty. Hmmm...need to work on that issue too. I feel guilty when I feel great-what is up with that??? My bike sat at the Plant Barn a few days, but that was ok...I spun around to the back (Chico Propagators) and rang the bell...oh did I mention the bell? It sounds like....DIIIINNNGGG......DOHHHNNNGGGGGG.....Loud and clear. They all laughed and giggled at the crazy lady who bought the Plant Barn riding a colorful bike through the gravel. I was just plain happy. I can't explain why it brought me such joy...maybe deep down...I am just such a simple gal. My parents brought me out of the "OC" but maybe I really am a Lassen County girl!!! That bike just makes me smile...but sadly I couldn't figure out a way to get me, my car, and my new bike home. My Da came by the Plant Barn to drop some things off...and said well if you don't need anything I will take off and do whatever he does for (insert one:Library, Seniors, irrigation district, and whatever else)...I said...well I would love to get my bike home, would you mind taking it? Of course he was honored to be given the "honor"-acutally it seemed like he really was...My Dad "gets" my bike purchase...and for that I love him more...if that was possible. So, now my bike was home!!! The first day I couldn't figure out how I would get Megs to school, go to work, run to costco, pick up groceries and make Megs game by 6. Harumph....the next day ended up the same....BUT...the next day...I said nothing is getting in my way!!! I thought about the grad party I wanted to make an appearance to, the banking I still needed to do, and of course, wondering when and how I would get lunch??? I woke up, Showered, put my hair in a pony tail, and realized...ohhhh....miss megs is home...would she want to join me? I asked, She agreed....so there we went. Did I tell you it is about 6+ miles to work? Not that it is a looooonnnnng way. But hey! I had pictured myself riding along, timing the route for future rides, and of course hoping I would make it to work on time...since Miss Megs took a little longer than expected to get ready! But you know what...another ride was in store for me. Miss Megs is my little one. She is a hard nut to crack...a mystery at all times. A thinker...but leaves you wondering just what she is thinking. She's not an open book by any means and getting in takes tactical maneuvers. She is witty, kind, and sweet. She has so much to offer in intellect, wisdom, and comedic relief-it just takes a jack hammer to get there. BUT....that ride was different for both of us....First, the air...it's all around you...no airconditioning on a bike, but we could not have been more comfortable. Next...smells...no...not smelly smells....scents...our ride to town was filled with scents. Lavendar, freshly mown hay, soapy scents from people washing their cars in the driveway...We breathed it in...I made Megs take a deep breath...Such a mom thing to do. Sights along the way...wow...I saw houses I had never seen. Noticed newly planted gardens and even some trash left alongside the roadway. So much to see, and notice, that I had not noticed in my drives along the same road. BUT, the very best part of the drive??? Miss Megs and I talked...I realized quickly this girl opens up when you are doing something together-duh-she is my athlete...my competitor...not that the other two aren't she just is wired to compete. So...side by side we rode, and talked. It felt so amazing, the breeze, the sun, the ride, everything I imagined. We rolled along and talked. I saw cars, houses, people, gardens, but it was just Megs and me, having a chat. I am easily distracted-ask anyone who knows me...but with all of that...I just listened...and smiled and was thankful for the opportunity to be just tooling along on a bike on a saturday am...with my daughter. NOone could have orchestrated such a perfect moment. BUT it happened and it was soooo real, and so wonderful...my ride home was almost as great or better...but I am tired...so ttfn!!!

Day 2 of my foray into the blogging world!!! If you haven't noticed by now I subscribe to the ... style of writing. I could edit myself on it...but then I can't write as freely...so if you are reading...get used to it!!! I bought myself a bike last week. I had hinted about it for a long time...hoping my b-day or mother's day gift might be a bike...but no bike was under the tree for me either day...so I went to "look" at bikes on Monday following Mother's day. I started at Sports LTD which is a pricey store I found out later. I was looking for a cruiser, with a basket (preferably wicker if they had it), and I wanted speeds and of course an age appropriate seat (wide and comfy). They had one of everything there...pink, purple, blue, striped, polka dotted. I was only browsing so I imagined myself on any of them...none were really calling my name. The last row of bikes was next...and there it was...the bike of my dreams. Let me say that the last new bike I purchased was when I was around 7. Since then I have hand me down bikes, picked one up at a yard sale, never brand spanking new like these gleaming beauties! Not throwing a pity party here...I LOVE to save money and always look for bargains and the thought of spending alot of money on an extravagance always sends me into a tizzy-but I am working on that!!! oops back to the bike of my dreams...there it was...It was subtle in it's beauty and revealed it's finer qualities to me slowly. The wicker basket was first...lined in a fun scandinavian floral print. Then my eyes went to the seat. Embossed white leather with red leather lacing...wait the handlebars had the same white leather with red laces streaming from the ends. I could picture them in the wind slapping my wrists on my ride. The overall color was a dark teal with brown...but everywhere I looked there was handpainted details. Flowers!!! Insignias that were part fleur de lys and part tattoo artist detailing. Ok...this was the bike of my dreams...then I saw the wheel spokes....RED!!! Contrasting with the wide white wall tires they screamed RED!!! I realized I could never consider another bike after this. But was it a bike with speeds...well yes...It was a 3 speed!!!!!! I only had a little time so I asked the clerk to write the name and price down for me so I could consider it and come back...maybe....He wrote the name...GYPSY 3!!!! All the stars lined up just then!!!! BUT...I did my wow that is alot of money...more than I have paid for a couple of my cars back in the day!!! I told him I may be back...I headed to pick Megs up and called my Shannon...told her what I had been doing and she said...MOM...she actually probably said MOTHER...GO BACK AND GET THAT BIKE FOR YOURSELF... YOU HAVE BEEN WORKING YOUR *&# off you DESERVE IT!!! I grinned and thought well...YOU ARE RIGHT. Made a phone call or two...and called the bike shop...HOLD THAT BIKE!!! I hadn't even ridden it yet but already knew how it would make me feel. But I am out of time so I'll have to talk about that next time...ttfn

Not sure where to start...everyone around me has blogged...but not me. But I supposedly used to possess the ability to write...so I will attempt to reclaim that ability. But I want to be a different blogger...not that I am being critical of others...I just want to be a positive blogger. May be that is just because my decision this year is to live for me...and to live...I have been living under a self imposed shadow of sorts. An umbrella I erected thinking it would shade me from previous sorrows and silly mistakes has now fallen completely apart and I can see the sun very well now. I love how it warms me...but know that I should erect some sort of protection from the harsh rays that summer brings. I turned 43 recently and decided this is my year to live for me! Everyone who knows me knows 3 is my magic number...and I intend for this year to be magical in all ways. Ok...being way too philisophical for a first post...just want to be positive!!! My kids hated when they said something negative and I said...ok...now say 3 positive things. It's always been my desire to find the good, find the positive or at least create the moment that makes everyone feel positive. I read the blogs, of many and it is a sort of ranting, venting...and that is good...but now I want to add my two cents...make that 3!!! Not sure where I will go with this...but here I go!!!